Up until now, I can't say that I've been concerned about writing what I think here. Overall, nothing has changed that concerns me too deeply, but I am more hesitant due to the knowledge that people who I never thought would be reading this, now are.
This site has been up & running for nearly 18 months & although there isn't as many entries as other web sites & there is minimal traffic, I still find it useful to have the odd thought or feeling kept in a place that I can look back on.
Being on the net rather than on paper means that it can't be lost or read by nosey family members. However, instead of being in the secure confines of a hard back diary, the entire planet has access to my thoughts now & from the past. I consider this to be a good thing. My problems & triumphs can be shared with the world & with the friends who I know have found this very page.
I've only had one psycho which has overstepped the boundry & caused me grief. Their comments are testament to their inability to be decent. Thankfully, the entire contents of the web site can be pulled from public view at a moments notice, but I also hope it never comes to that!
On Thursday night a friend from the Golf Club expressed their regret for giving the site details to someone for fear that my past comments may be hurtful. I understand the concern, but at the same time, every entry here was written for a reason & only once have I ever changed a past entry to cover my back & those were exceptional circumstances.
If someone finds an entry that they think relates to themselves, they may be right... but they also may be wrong. Hence the reason for rarely using names. I've caned a few people in the past, but it's normally written in the heat of the moment & may bear no reflection of my thoughts on the same person at this moment.
All that said, I've always been on to hide my feelings for certain people until I know exactly where I stand with that person. It's something that I can't stop myself from doing, I never take risks of the heart. To take the risk could be a success or a spectacular failure!
My current situation relates to all the above thoughts. Hence the reasons I can't bring myself to write what I am thinking. The person involved may not be thinking along the same lines & a declaration would be frought with danger.
I'll leave this entry for now & if circumstances change, I'll write more. Until then, anyone from the Golf Club that wants to have crack at what the hell I've been talking about, please leave a comment or email. I'm sure that from the utter cryptocity of the last nine paragraphs, someone will work it out!
P.S. Is cryptocity a word or am I making shit up again??
